Whole Lotta Going On

Well. There's been a whole lot going on in my life and in DS's life and, even in Mr. Supportive's life.

Thursday night Mr. S and I had therapy. The first part was rough. I don't think that he got it. By the second half, I was crying my eyes out and pleading with him to understand. I think that I made him understand that I'm really seriously scared about the escalating tension and violence in the house. Or, if he didn't actually understand, then he at least accepted that's how I feel and that he should behave accordingly.

He left me and DS alone that evening and I packed our bags. Friday morning I drove to work with a suitcase in my trunk. By lunch time I went to the district court for our county, got a protective order, picked up the baby from daycare and came back to the office. We weren't going to go home. The folks at the court house told me that they'd serve the protective order on Mr. S by 6pm or so.

DS and I left.

Mr. S tries to call me that evening, find out where we are. Turns out he's gotten a movie and Indian food and wants to have a really nice evening together. Don't ya love the honeymoon/calmer period in the cycle of domestic violence? Anyway. I didn't want him thinking that DS and I were laying in a ditch somewhere with a car accident. So I called him, told him that we weren't coming home. He tells me about the Indian food and video and then said "You picked a bad night. Good bye."

My mom got mad when I told her that - "Oh, he's putting it back on you, huh?"

I'm very sad. I cried my eyes out on Friday night because I knew that he'd be sad and broken hearted. I don't want to hurt him, I want to reconcile. I really seriously, honestly do. There's a very good person inside all that pain and stuff. I still love that very good person. His anger and pain and stuff get in our way.

Not that I'm claiming to be little miss innocent victim, absolutely not.